Pakefield Re-United FC

Pakefield Re-United v. White Horse Seltic (League) (28th March 2009)

The chat in the changing room at Corton Village was surreal as Pakefield turned up for the game with White Horse. Moorhen and Dippy were still bickering about when the clocks should have gone forward, and which midnight it would have been better to go home at... Dippy was also entering into discussions about munitions and angles and rates of fire?!? So the warm up routine descended immediately into a cross it and shoot, old time musical hall double bill, and Moorhen still looked very ill. So when the match was underway and Pakefield began to piece together a first half performance of pace on the ball and astute passing that had White Horse scrambling about the pitch it was more than a pleasant surprise. All be it with the strong wind the patterns and passing in that first half were probably the best seen from Pakefield for a long time. New Town was again instrumental in much of this as his mature play, unselfish running and outstanding attitude were again setting him up for a MoM performance. His excellent cross field pass to Bambi, whose finish was almost as good, led to the only goal of the first half. Yet New Town's tracking back, tackling and cover work was also an important part of the Pakefield performance. Moorhen did come close to extending the lead when he powered a drive against the bar. His comment that "at least it didn't go over" can be explained only by the fact that he hit the second ball he was looking at for the only time in the match...

The second half was bound to be different as White Horse came hunting for the game. Their direct and athletic approach began to pull the Pakefield defence about and space appeared for them to run on to. Boris, who had not done much during the first half, was soon the busier keeper as chances started to fall to White Horse. He managed to palm a strong header away but soon afterwards was picking the ball out of the net after a free player was given a shot from inside the area. Pakefield to their merit kept playing the football and went back up the pitch with another decisive break that saw Rabbit end up in a one-on-one with the keeper. His cool finish went in off the post to restore Pakefield's lead. However, this didn't last long as another missed tackle and clearance saw a low, long range shot fly into the far corner of Pakefield's goal. Again, Pakefield continued to play some good football and the key part of the game saw the White Horse goal live a charmed life. It didn't require any intervention from the keeper though as shots were screwed wide or the ball bounced agonisingly away from the Pakefield players. Boris kept Pakefield in the hunt with a sharp save to a close range shot but was again helpless to stop a looping, wind assisted shot creep under the crossbar in the last few minutes of the game. The scenes that followed will long live in the memory... why they happened is difficult to fathom but White Horse gave a very good impression of being a pile of grass clippings as they all leapt onto each other. They obviously knew something Pakefield were unaware of? So while a draw would have been fair, and a win was always there for the taking while Pakefield had the energy, it was not to be however, the match had served its real purpose; Dippy's headache had improved, Moorhen was walking straight and PG could face a beer at last...

Pakefield Re-United v. Hopton White Hart (League) (21st March 2009)

...and loosing ugle can be quite easy too!!

Pakefield turned in a quiet, disjointed and ultimately disappointing performance as the early problems for White Hart in getting their players all on the pitch at the same time seemed to infect the home team with a distinct malaise, particularly in taking the few chance that would come their way. Desparate did a fine job standing in for Boris who wobbled up and down the touch line but it was the injury to Crafty, which will probably see him miss the rest of the season, that sums up the game. After such a performance it's often easier to  forget about it and pass on to the next game. Anyone disagree?

Pakefieild Reunited v. Oulton Broad & Notleys Res. (League) (7th March 2009) 

" "Mark" my words this was a day that will be known for the infamy with which Boris had to deal with!!" said the Sage of Pakefield...

"That's fine..." said Tillsy "...but what's infamy?"

" "In for me"...!" roared "Mark", Pakefield's new signing in goal, as Boris was left stranded across the other side of the park on his lonesome. At least this social schizophrenia was going to have quick benefits as the game against OB&N kicked off at Walmer Road... however, revenge is a dish best left for the end of the second half or the match report!!

Dedicated followers of this page will know that Boris has a penchant to sometimes stretch the definition of what a goal keeper should do; with in five minutes the new persona of "Mark" had shown his worth. Although making the first move towards goal Pakefield quickly conceeded the initiative and two gilt edge chances fell to the OB&N strike force. A free header at the far post, to a cross from the Pakefield right, was goal bound but "Mark" was smartly down and the ball flew away off his chest. Minutes later quick feet left Pakefield flat footed and another free player, just outside the six yard box, let fly with a sharp half-volley towards the top right hand corner of the net. "Mark"'s instinctive dive and tip up and over the bar was appreciated by the Pakefield defensive unit who finally woke up and got on with the required job. OB&N's best chances of changing the course of the game had come, and gone!

So Pakefield settled into a solid and competent performance while never finding the fluidity up front that would have seen the game put well out of reach of any potential fightback. Phil Babb was stultified, ostracised and villified throughout, and petulant to the end, but the Pakefield defensive unit of Catelogue, Tractor, Beagle and Estuary (All mouth and very slow...) had a fine game. This was ably supported by the terriers of the midfield as Duracell (Welcome home...) and Magic Rabbit snapped and snarled and broke up any moves well during the first half. Bambi was linking well with New Town and Demon, and Moorhen was enjoying another spate of chances with which to challenge New Town's right to be the Pakefield ice dancing champion. The first goal was a fine cross/shot from the Pakefield right that unfortunately was missed by Moorhen's stooping header and went in directly. This means it has to be credited to Tidal (Always turning and can't make it's mind up where it's going). However, the second was a fine move that saw a sweetly taken chance fall to Bambi. The flow of the move was lovely to watch as the ball moved through midfield from Demon to the left with New Town and swiftly into the feet of Bambi. However, this wasn't the best piece of football seen during the day although this strike was to be ruled out by a dubious offsde. New Town's control of a raking sixty yard crossfield pass and volley into the far corner was sublime.

Into the second half and Pakefield resorted to character as they failed to settle the game beyond any doubt. Now playing on the break chances feel to all the Pakefield front players. Yet through a combination of good saves, unlucky bobbles and inept footwork nothing found the net. Rocket came on to replace a tiring Demon and had a swift impact on the game with several fine chances and a rib tickling miss. Yet nothing really threatened the Pakefield goal either. A few long range efforts were sent high and wide, a few crosses and shots were clutched to safety, and the game wound towards a close. The medication had worn off and it was the reappearance of Boris that left its "Mark" on the game for Beagle... no call, a firm punch clear and two players left floored in his wake!

A good game and a well earned win sees Pakefield contemplating what might happen with the rest of the season; zimmer frames at the ready lads!!

TEAM: Becker, Kay, Tills, Graham, Craft, Moore (Stephenson), Harvey, Michalski, Godbold, Harlow, Coote

RESULT:    Won 2-0          GOALS: Craft, Michalski

COMEDY VALUE: "Mark"'s Debut..."Who the hell is he?!!"

Pakefieild Reunited v. Oxford Arms Res. (League) (28th February2009) 

"Rip van Winkle is still lying in Sleepy Hollow and until he wakes up from his slumbers, having been put to sleep by all his activities in the match yesterday, the report will not be updated....come back later!"

The excitement throughout this closely fought match was too much for Boris and he failed to be able to take anything worthwhile writing about into his stupified brain... well apart from New Town partially collecting a ball coming down the left flank, and then doing a superb impression of the "Dancing on Ice" stars as he stepped over the ball, round the ball, through the ball and missing and stumbling into a makeshift clearance out for a corner. Oh, and Moorhen's supreme case of going hunting for the secret squirrel in every tree surrounding the Dip Farm pitch... at least the council won't have to worry about cutting them back when branch after branch was dislodged by the thunderbolts unleashed fron the unerring left foot! Maybe mention should also be made of the sumptuous volley from the Craftmeister that left poor Nellie Bathgate writhing in agony after he mistakenly sacrificed his body to stop the seventh goal being scored for at least another five minutes...

After Pakefield scored within five minutes of the start of the game they were never in trouble and only through the generosity of the Pakefield forward line was the final score kept down. Moorhen, in actually scoring his four goals, contrived to accept only the hardest of chances as being really worth his full attention. One diving header was sublime and worthy of winning any game. Bambi got back on the scoring sheet, Rocket nonchalantly scored a sweet half volley and tucked another away for his brace and Tillsy's quick reaction and sharp volley belied many things. Deckhand, after scoring a sweet little goal, was busy linking many of the best moments of play together with Moorhen's next miss and Magic Rabbit pulled one out of the hat in a major case of pant avoidance. The backline was "bolstered" by the return of Crafty, and Catelogue when he replaced the crocked New Town for the second half.

All in all it was job done and on to the next game without pain or embarassment; particularly important after the debacle of Corton "A" a few weeks back. Anything else? Well being Pakefield it's well worth a bet as to the numbers that finally get to the match and at least this week we had the "legs" required even without the "Ham"!?!

TEAM: Becker, Harlow (Kay), Tills, Graham, Craft, Moore, Harvey, Michalski, Scrigins, Stephenson, Coote

RESULT:    Won 10-0          GOALS:  Coote (4), Stephenson (2), Scrigins, Michalski, Tills, Harvey

COMEDY VALUE: "Dancing on Ice" audition by New Town! "Secret Squirrel" hunt by Moorhen...

Pakefieild Reunited v. Hopton White Hart (League (21st February2009) 

If Pakefield had been turning up at Kessingland and looking at the pitch you'd have already known the game was going to be narrow at the back, Route 1 and on the break, and often high scoring. So it was easy to consider the result for Hopton the week before as being borne out of practise; on a wide field, in good condition, it was interesting to see how narrow their pitch was. With the first few attacking throw-ins from White Hart it was obvious to see why; TV has a lot to be sorry for as "Delap" made an appearance...

However, Pakefield started brightly with some good approach play along the ground setting up several chances. A header to Moorhen, a shot to Rocket, chances for Bambi, and a follow up chance to Passback; none went in and it seemed a failure to take their chances might be rued by Pakefield as the first of several chance started to appear for Hopton. A tip over from a free header following a long throw saw the best of Boris yet his handling, calling and concentration seemed to have deserted him. It was lucky that through scrambling clearances, tackling back, and good fortune the Pakefield goal remained intact during the first half. Chances also kept coming at the other end as Passback and New Town, who was again going to have an excellent alround game, started combining well down the left; and Magic, Dippy and Jan were also able to create space for Bambi and Moorhen. It was just a shame that nothing seemed to fall cleanly; even the Pakefield goal in the first half was a bundled follow-up by Rocket from a misheld shot. That a blatant penalty on Passback was also missed was to become a growing theme for the match. So also was the continuing run of misses by Bambi; his next goal will see the floodgates open but at the moment it just isn't falling for this fine young player. However his contribution in approach play, and lately also in defence have been vital.

The second half was to define the game. Tackles had been flying in throughout the first half and Dippy found himself facing a yellow card for vociferously challenging a decision after one particularly bad tackle. The referee now just seemed unable to keep up with the game, or consistently apply the laws, or control the players; a shame considering he comes across as a thouroughly decent bloke who has obviously given a lot too the game he loves. As Pakefield scored a second midway through the half from a fine turn, break and shot by Moorhen things started to get feisty. As Pakefield were denied another penalty for handball, Bambi was scythed down again, and more tackles started to be made with studs up, it looked ominous. Then a third Pakefield goal following a break down the right by Bambi and a fine cross and then finish from Passback and it seemed to have decided the match. Around this time though the decisions of the referee were to have a significant impact. One free kick by White hart saw a shot from thirty yards being juggled and parried into the Pakefield net by Boris. He was already making his apologies for this inept mistake when the goal was strangely cancelled out for offside by a White Hart player following up. A similar incident at the other end saw a different reason being given and a corner awarded?! Then the tackles really did get sharper! The card was shown to the White Hart skipper and it was apparent that players had lost confidence completely in the referee.

With ten minutes to go and at 3-0 the game would be won but not over. While tiring, and also seemingly confident of the result, Pakefield allowed some direct play to give White Hart four quick chances. Boris dealt with the first two with a fine save low to his left from a shot wide of the goal and holding a shot/cross but the next two fell to players coming down the centre of the pitch who knew what to do, 3-2 and an uncomfortable five minutes until the final whistle. The game finished with a cameo; long throw, crowded area, Boris not calling but making the catch, a blocking challenge for the clearance, and the final whistle. A strange atmosphere for a game that saw some good football from both teams, but needed a firmer, more consistent hand in control.

TEAM: Becker, Harlow, Tills, Graham, Chapman, Banks, Harvey, Michalski, Dale, Stephenson(Stacey), Coote

RESULT:    Won 3-2          GOALS: Stephenson, Coote, Banks

COMEDY VALUE: Boris - end of! Free kick routine, Matrix moment as he missed the scooter and his calling... nice to have consistency in life!

Pakefieild Reunited v. Lowestoft International (League (14th February2009) 

Pakefield came together at Dip Farm still “feeling the love” that had seen a vastly improved performance against Pot Black last week. Unfortunately, Deckhand and Tillsy were indisposed so Duran and Banksy were called up to play, while Punty and Jan had found their way back from London and buying prams respectively. Sometimes this enforced rotation can work for a team but this week saw a very unusual pairing in central defense with Dippy starting for the absent Beagle. Against Lowestoft International, a team known to enjoy quick passing and interplay around and in the box, something was going to give! So as the game started, after the longest warm up ever as everybody was ready for a 2:00pm kick off and it wasn't until 2:30pm that the first kick rolled forward, it appeared the concerns were well founded. International kept the ball for a long time, moved the ball forward and through the heart of the Pakefield defense, and released a through ball that had to be smartly cleared away by an advancing Boris. Then it happened again, and again, with offside being interspersed with shots and saves and balls flying all around the Pakefield goal. Therefore, when Boris could only parry a sharp shot and it looped up and just under the crossbar for an International goal, it wasn't really a surprise. It arose when Punty did an imaginary one-two and passed to an International player just outside the center of the box. Pakefield and Punty to their credit just got on with the job and slowly came together as a team. There was even the rare sight of the defense using Boris as an outlet and his distribution more often than not finding an outlet far up the pitch or otherwise flying out to safety. Jan Molby and New Town were beginning to link up with Bambi and Rocket and the midfield, with Rabbit becoming very prominent, started to snap at the heels of the International players and get the ball moving forward. International's chances became more infrequent. While no clear cut chances arrived for Pakefield they were starting to boss the game.

Into the second half this continued as the main theme with New Town having another splendid game breaking up the sporadic International attacks, but then moving down the left deftly bringing Duran, Banksy and Moorhen into the game. Jan Molby also seemed to be building up a head of steam down the right wing and one move led to the Pakefield equalizer.  A surging run into the International half, a one-two with Rocket and a fine, low ball into the box saw Moorhen bundle the ball past the keeper. Play now became much more open as both teams pushed for a winner. Bambi had a shot saved; Moorhen came close; Boris fluffed his lines with a close range shot slipping through his grasp and New Town, legitimately this week, saved the day with a fine clearance off the line. A shot from outside the box then thundered against the Pakefield bar as International rallied and kept on playing football around the edge of the Pakefield box. Then, according to the referee after the game, the decisive moment of the match arrived. Another International attack saw a shot from the penalty spot going through a group of players towards the right hand side of the Pakefield goal. Boris flung himself instinctively high and wide and managed to stop the goal bound shot. From the resulting corner Pakefield broke upfield and New Town, linking well with Moorhen, was barged over in the box for a Pakefield penalty. Smartly put away by Banksy it led to more Pakefield chances being generated though one stands out... Duran was responsible for a superb side footed chance that  screwed wide for a throw in! His next contribution was also worthy of mention. Wide on the left he played a woefully understrength back pass that left Dippy and Boris both stranded in no-man's-land, with Boris back peddling and having to pull off another fine save low to his right, it was remarkably charitable the way Dippy responded. Maybe a few more games would see Duran back to his fluent best but he did allow the team a wry smile at this contribution!

All in all it was a good result and an enjoyable game against a team that never stopped trying to play football. It was also notable that following on from some previous games, when arguments and indiscipline have been the order of the day, this was played in a good-hearted spirit. With eleven games left to play Pakefield are closing in on their target of a “Top 5” finish; the final push should see some interesting choices having to be made as everybody comes back from skiing, babies and wedding receptions!

TEAM: Becker, Harlow, Dale, Punter, Chapman, Taylor (Stacey), Harvey, Michalski, Banks, Stephenson, Coote

RESULT:    Won 2-1          GOALS: Coote, Banks

COMEDY VALUE: Duran's shot and back pass! Punty and Dippy at center half and the Offside "advantage"....

 Pakefieild Reunited v. Pot Black (Cup) (7th February2009) 

It's not often you get the chance to write a report on this site when your opponents have already completed theirs and they are a decent set of lads; not sure we'll ever agree on every point but the report is "fair to middlin'"... what we won't try and do is a minute-by-minute, blow-by-blow account - the author (Boris - yes I admit it) was too zoned out from dehydration and sleep deprivation to be able to remember what actually happend!! Impressions are what you'll get... so as Boris walked into the changing room less than 30 minutes before kick off and saw the bare eleven, counting himself, sitting there waiting to get changed it looked like those who could, would... "Don't worry I've had a bit of a problem with the kit..." Crafty immediately jumped in, "It's not bl****y soaking wet again!" Such faith... "No, just been warming it up at the laundry so we can avoid warming up!"

Let's get the big one out of the way first! Crafty called it correctly later when he said Boris fell asleep when he tried to catch a soft header early in the first half. So soft Louis's dad had turned back up the pitch ready for the clearance from his position as linesman. The ball rolled towards the goal and New Town hooked it away from "probably" a foot over the line... so had the referee also assumed Boris was an ordinary mortal and turned away?? What ever it waas the ball Boris was looking at was this side of the goal line which accounts for his erratic approach to the game. However this moment was cancelled out later when volleyball appeard as a spectator sport and Pot Black cleared a ball with a superb spike block from the penalty area... so first contradiction noted in what might be the closest read reports for both teams this season?! Crafty actually moved behind the goal to try and keep Boris awake after this with some success; maybe Tillsy has had better days than when Boris came up over his shoulders; yes the last challenge later was a bit "heavy" but Boris actually pulled out of it knowing what would have happened; and the save low down to his left and behind him on the clear break through must have warranted a small mention?

So what else made an impression? After last week everything! Nobody was despondent today... Harlow was magnificent and played his best game of the year. When knocked down early on at the corner flag his response was brilliant and the link play with Rocket and Deckhand was the outlet that gave Pakefield a sniff of a chance. Tillsy and Beagle were Trojans at the back and while able to move were strong and resolute and didn't allow the "collander" to reappear! Dippy, in his own words, was solid at the back and barking like a junk yard dog at Crufts...! The effort was there, the belief and the desire to try and play football, and it showed throughout the team. Two Pints was also at his best when linking with New Town down the left, as he swapped positions with Ryan throughout the game, and this saw some lovely interplay and approach work that was worthy of a goal; inside him Deckhand and Magic Rabbit were covering ground, harrassing players and linking well against quality opposition that had size and pace to spare but couldn't get past these two until well into the game. Rocket was also able to show his skills and seemed determined to stake a claim to Man-of-the-match. He was unlucky with one shot that was very well saved by the Pot Black keeper but all-in-all it was an excellent day for him as he tormented his elderly opponents (EDITOR: and ageism must be seen in context considering the average of Pakefield is increased by five just by having Boris in goal!! Five stone that is!!). So also were the corner by Bambi that hit the bar, and the goal bound header by Moorhen that was cleared away brilliantly at the near post, all there in the mix... a heady cocktail considering the sorry tale of last week. It seems those that would, did... and the palpable sense of relief and camraderie was the right way for the game to finish.

Crafty was leaving Normanston close to the end of the game, after a subtle push, fine drag down and excellent shot had broken the deadlock and was shaking his head and smiling. It would have been good to have had him playing because this display was about heart, about belief and desire and for seventy-eight minutes Pakefield were playing again... well done to Pot Black for sticking to their game plan but there is no need to worry about Pakefield being despondent after today. It was a good day to be playing football and that seems to have happened on Normanston this afternoon.

TEAM: Becker, Harlow, Tills, Graham, Dale, Stacey, Harvey, Michalski, Scrigins, Stephenson, Coote

RESULT:     Lost 2-0          GOALS:

COMEDY VALUE: Didn't need any as the spirit shown was enough...!!

Pakefieild Reunited v. Corton "A" (League) (31st January 2009) 

A complete shower... more holes than a collander and nothing of merit to talk about!!

...ball into space, run on and score!

 ...ball into space, run on and score!

  ...ball into space, run on and score!

Boris did his best to raise a laugh by reverting back to a comedy moment of clearances but Pakefield just didn't turn up; full stop! Boris was also so keen to get a shower to warm up that he head-butted a post - latest reports are two black eyes, cuts and a hooter that seems straighter than it was on Friday - PG gallantly took over for the last twenty minutes... mug!!!

So nothing more to say...

TEAM: Becker, Graham, Punter, Saunders, Chapman, Harlow, Harvey, Michalski, Tills, Stephenson (Stacey), Dale

RESULT:     Lost 12-2          GOALS: Harlow, Michalski

COMEDY VALUE: Hangover routines by most people during the game, Boris getting a "headache"... again!!

Pakefieild Reunited v. White Horse Seltic (League) (24th January 2009) 

"We at the height are ready to decline.
There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures."

(Shakespear "Julius Ceasar" IV.ii.269–276)

The match against White Horse saw Pakefield possibly come up short in terms of energy and pace and certainly the best example of this was the brace of goals scored by Ben Lewsey for Seltic. For much of the game it was Pakefield who were playing up into the White Horse box using the outlets provided by Two Pints and Bambi, but nothing seemed to fall in place, and shots were finding the keeper rather than the net....and thus it seems to have been decided that this year is about fun and friendship and mentoring of our burgeoning "Youth Club". Maybe not what everybody was expecting for a match report but the nature of the game yesterday and the result seems to point now in a certain direction; enjoy the day, give it your best shot and stay injury free.

Catelogue certainly had a good game, and his breaking up of Seltic attacks down the Pakefield left certainly helped keep the team in contention well into the second half. He also provided the starting point for a good few attacks through the again impressive New Town. Yet even here one slip was to prove costly in allowing Lewsey to break clear and score the Seltic second around the sixtieth minute. Deckhand, White Rabbit and Bambi were also finding some joy in playing up to the box using Moorhen's strength to hold up the ball but the final pass was being nudged away for a corner, or a slip broke up the momentum. Boris also did his bit to keep Pakefield in touch with some assured handling, good saves and clearances behind the back four, who well into the second half were playing high and tight and containing Seltic. Yet again though luck wasn't running for Pakefield as the first Seltic goal, though well worked and taken, saw the ball hit the post and go across the line as it reached the other post; the second saw Boris get a boot on the ball but it went in on the wrong side of the post; the third ended up being a three-on-one when Beagle slipped near the centre circle; and the last again saw a partial block squeeze through where on other days it would have been enough.

So Moorhen's headed goal at the beginning of the second half to bring Pakefield level was a highlight and IF the second had been scored it would have been just reward for the Pakefield pressure between this point and even the last Seltic goal BUT... So all that was left was Boris getting clattered and being left a bit more disorientated than usual, and a quiet changing room after the game. The next month will go a long way to define how the team will remember this season but this match has provided much to think about for the veterans of many other Pakefield seasons.

TEAM: Becker, Kay, Punter, Graham, Chapman, Harlow, Harvey, Michalski, Scrigins (Tills), Stacey (Stephenson)

RESULT:     Lost 4-1          GOALS: Coote

COMEDY VALUE: Beagle's hangover routine during the game, Boris getting a "headache"

Pakefieild Reunited v. Waveney Gunners (League) (17th January 2009) 

As the team trickled into the changing room at Dip Farm there were lots of comments about Australian Rules and homecomings but lots of the Pakefield lads were pleased to welcome the Haystack, back for a short break from Umpalumpa Land. It was also pleasing to count fourteen players, though the resemblance with a youth club and the quietness of the "Young 'Uns" was disconcerting to some... anyway everybody had a good idea of what was to come in the match against Waveney Gunners; hard and fair with a team we know as being big and strong.

So it proved in the first half; Haystack looked strong in the centre of midfield and was always busy breaking up Waveney attacks and laying off the few short balls that proceeded the infrequent Pakefield forays into attack. He was ably suppoorted by Magic Rabbit and Bambi showed the odd flash of class but was reletively well contained. Rocket was also providing some energy down the right wing but nothing really fell in place for Pakefield. Waveney in fact had the best chance of the half as midway through Bondy collected a short layoff outside the area and drilled in a low shot that was well cleared by Boris's out-stretched foot. His impression of being a solid brickwall was in keeping with Punty's vociferous claims after anothing sterling example of his inability to call or talk to the defence. Punty's prozacic {sic} comments were supported by his partner Beagle, who had to cheer him up with comments of how well he was playing. Very true, but did it need saying in public?! However, as Waveney were reduced to long range shots by the excellent defensive performance being put in by Catelogue, Punty, Beagle and Duran Duran, Boris was collecting everything that did come close with ease. So the first half finished goaless and Dippy's half time talk was about pushing on and closing with the Waveney midfield and lessening the gap between midfield and defence; well that was the jist of what he said!

So Pakefield, as is their want sometimes, ignored these instructions and leaked a soft, if well taken goal, to a glancing header within the first five minutes of the restart. This was the catalyst for a purple patch that saw some extraordinary scenes on the pitch that will live long in the memory of those who were playing. A sublime move down the right flank starting with Jan (on for the injured Duran Duran), linking through Andy, Bambi and New Town (who had replaced the work-bound Rocket at half time), saw Moorhen hammer home an unstoppable left footed shot into the top left hand corner. It was a delight to watch and highlighted the value of Moorhen on his return. Bambi's second was almost as good, and again involved a series of quick, simple passes that cut the Gunners apart. This pattern of play continued and led to the highlight already hinted about. Punty did a driving run from the left midfield into the heart of Gunner's territory, a deft pass and Catelogue was powering up in support and caught a sweet shot that flew over the keeper and under the bar. The Leprechaun was let loose... the high pitched squeak "I've scored! I've scored!", the dancing jig, and then the snow blinding glare as the shirt came up and over the head; pure unadulterated joy and a grin on everybody's face summed it up - a moment of magic that makes it all worthwhile. Yet that wasn't all and the final goal of the game saw New Town and Haystack have the perfect final say in two excellent individual performances by laying up a chance for Beagle from outside the area. His delicate chip had the touch of Tiger Woods about it and looped in over the stranded keeper for his annual left footed stunner. The patterns of play through the flanks upto Moorhen, supported from midfield and always with the outlet of releasing Bambi, saw perhaps the best twenty five minutes of the season from Pakefield. Even when Boris had his "bells" rung charging down a shot the support was there to clear the ball and let him readjust the loosened "clanger". A very enjoyable afternoon was brought to a close shortly after Waveney's second real chance of the game was pushed wide by Boris in front of the cameras.

"Due to circumstances beyond the control of the editorial team this week's report had been delayed. Emergency attendance at A&E to remove a set of dentures, that had been swallowed due to excessive laughing at the goal celebrations of Catelogue, meant a full report had to be made available later in the day. Argos are due to make an emergency "home delivery" to help rectify the other pressing situation, and will use the safest address for such events; Crafty has made himself available for the end of the month now he's sorted out his seating arrangements for resting his tweaked hamstring."

TEAM: Becker, Kay, Punter, Graham, Smith (Chapman), Stacey (Dale), Harvey, Michalski, Haylock, Stephenson (Harlow)

RESULT:     Won 4-1          GOALS: Coote, Michalski, Kay, Graham

COMEDY VALUE: Goal celebrations... Sofas...

Pakefieild Reunited v. Pot Black (Cup) (10th January 2009) 

So everyone was getting excited; phone calls flying about and a great turn out at Normanston, on time as well, by lots of the lads and what do we end up with...? A "white out"!! Though not just in the sense that it was below freezing and the frost was still on the trees around the park as the groundsmen put out the flags more in hope than sound judgement. This week was heralded by the story of the "white goods"....

Boris had agreed to take the kit last week and as everybody will be aware is a very organised and forward thinking kind of guy; his favourite company is "Lastminute.com". So on Thursday morning the kit is brought inside and his long suffering wife (everybody elses impression but she still seems to be smiling...) was given the opportunity to finally wash the moldering kit. The text that came through at 14:48 wasn't good news then as the kitchen was flooded, the kit wasn't washed, and there wasn't really any alternative! So what would you have done? Boris detoured from Lowestoft via the Gapton Curries back to Norwich, buying a new washing machine having "negotiated" the sales price even lower, and fits the new machine by 20:00, and the kit starts to be washed. End of story? So why did he turn up on Saturday with a 3" lump on his forhead? Having moved the washing machine from the car he was "gently" pulling the rear seats back into position; "gently" and Boris? Thwack!!

...and that should be the end of it but this was a real "white out" for the stalwarts of Pakefield. Crafty was also plagued by the revenge of the "white goods"! So the lads are all there and the game is finally called off at 13:10 with 50+ people milling around for an eagerly awaited clash with Pot Black. So you'd decide to take advantage of the extra free time and watch a game with your mates down the Dutchmans? Well you would unless you've watched Crafty receive 20+ phone/text calls then be picked up and taken off to B&Q to buy a dishwasher! No so bad, but anybody who has been with Crafty while he's moaning, sorry that should also be "negotiating", also wanted to join Punty in "The Black Dog" with the paracetamol and razor blades!! He left very quietly...

Can we stick to football next week!??

TEAM: Too many to list!! Great turnout by everyone; "cheers dears!!"

RESULT:               GOALS:

COMEDY VALUE: Weather!!

Pakefieild Reunited v. Waveney Gunners (League) (3rd January 2009) 

First game of the New Year and the changing room had a warm glow as Pakefield got ready. Crafty was holding court on how the theme of the season seemed to have been confused by the events of that morning. Late "call offs" from Punty and Jan seemed to be a portent that Norovirus was going to leave the team short in more than one way but a fortuitous text message came through from some "old friends" who had also been let down. "Mixi" Broxup wouldn't be able to plague Magic Rabbit, who was also absent, but he would be available to rekindled the flame from last year. What had been missing was a full running commentary from midfield! The extent of this good fortune was seen with the full scale turnout of the "Beccles Brain Confederation" as Cheesey also turned up, with Wiggy in tow, to brighten the day up with more glad-handing and grins.

However, one thing will cause a problem throughout this report, the result will mean the whole thing is being written in a nostalgic blur... Yes the Bolshoi Ballet also appeared in a "one off" performance up front for Pakefield as Deckhand and Bambi reprieved Swan Lake within the Gunners area; Crafty and Wiggy spent time getting refamiliar with each other in the politest of ways -"No, after you Sir!" - in the centre of defence; Catelogue and Beagle kept pretending the Gunners wingers were rabbits at the greyhound track and had to be given a head start; New Town seemed to have built an extension over Christmas and the underpinnings were a bit weak; Rocket and Gavin (when he replaced New Town) were doing lengths for fun down the flanks; Cheesey was playing "chicken" with anybody who came within range; and Mixi DID provide the vision to comment on everything that was going on around him - class is permanent, and it's always good to have something to measure it against.

So what about the goals? Lots of shots and scrambling in the first half by Pakefield; breakouts by Gunners and a disallowed goal for Gunners after Boris and Crafty had been mugged at the near post; Catelogue giving away a penalty that was sent high, wide and handsome after the Gunner's player was repelled by looking at the growth on Boris's face, all saw a goaless first half. Then a few good moves warmed up the Pakefield attacking repetoire. A move down the right saw a fine pass from Rocket laid back by Deckhand into the path of Cheesey who unleashed a carbon copy of the thirty yard thunderbolt that had only just skimmed the left hand post minutes earlier. The difference this time was the marginal deflection that saw topspin on the ball loop it over the distraught Gunners keeper just under the crossbar. Cheesey was quick to say, again and again and again, that his tennis skills had shown him the options... The second goal saw Ryan earn his nickname as a driving run from the flank saw him unleash a shot with the shock factor of the impact of Stephenson's "Rocket" on the Victorian world. At least that was the appearance of the Gunner'  keeper at the near posts as he parried it into the net!

So why the hazy lack of detail in the report? Well, Boris had spent the entire game getting frozen with no real involvement in the game apart from some astute distribution from five back passes. Wiggy, as has been stated, was very polite throughout and felt obliged to resolve this problem. Mixi called it perfectly with a shout of "Stand him up!", which Wiggy took as a call to not take up the invitation to rejoin with the advancing Gunner's centre forward as he rushed towards the Pakefield goal. Boris one-on-one, a sharp drive towards the bottom right hand corner from the edge of the area, and a smart save low to the right as the ball headed just inside the post - the first clean sheet of the year was secured, beer was consumed and the haze descended!

A good way to start the year, and a good turnout at the Dutchman's afterwards. Thanks to Gunners for the sporting way they played and all should be looking forward to the rematch in a fortnight. The reunion with Pot Black next week should provide a few choice opportunities to top up the factual reporting all have become used too - believe it's 7-a-side at the Denes with a 10:30am kick off...should help with the numbers?!?

TEAM: Becker, Graham, Wigg, Craft, Kay (Dale), Harlow (Stacey), Broxup, Michalski, Lees, Stephenson, Scrigins

RESULT: Won 2-0              GOALS: Lees, Stephenson

COMEDY VALUE: Reunions, Clean sheets, Mixi blagging a pint!

Pakefieild Reunited v. Norton Reserves (League) (27th December 2008) 

"With the light rapidly failing and Norton in the ascendancy it was a case of winners and looses. The first half was an Oulton affair. The second was pretty much Norton's and we don't do many draws." this report is started with a quote from Norton's last game before playing Pakefield on the Saturday after Christmas. It seems other teams have themes that run through their reports. The match was indeed another game of two halfs...

There was a degree of optimism as the team met at Norton Subcourse late on Saturday morning with the good news that we had thirteen players and everybody, apart from Jan, appeared to be semi-sober after the preliminary festive merry-go-round of Christmas. The early signs from the game were also positive with several good chances falling to both Deckhand and Bambi but nothing seem to either get past the Norton keeper or narrowly missed the target. In fact Norton were to get two good chances to take the lead; both coming from quick breaks going up the hill - surely a warning for the second half? Both of these attacks were literally smothered by Boris, one a particularly good block at the feet of the Norton striker. Then a fine break going through Jan and Ryan on the right led to Bambi being one-on-one with the keeper, who was chipped superbly for the opening goal.

Pakefield stayed out for the half time team talk as Norton retired to "The Shed" for Dippy to compliment the team on a good forty-five minutes. We'll not know what was said to the Norton players but the second half changed both teams' approach to the game. Pakefield suddenly seemed unable to link any play together. Several attacks were launched in the first few minutes but a second goal didn't arrive. Then midway through the half a breakout by Norton saw a three-against-one and, although Crafty covered back well as Boris forced the first attempt wide, the equaliser was scored. There was then a ten minute spell where Pakefield had the chances to go ahead but through good goalkeeping, poor finishing and bad luck it didn't happen. Norton then got a well taken second goal by again breaking down the Pakefield right, crossing and finishing with a sharp drive across the goal. Pakefield were forced to go in search of an equaliser in the last ten minutes but were undone by an almost identical attack by Norton that went down the Pakefield right and saw a shot come in from the six yard box that went into the bottom right hand corner; it wasn't to be Pakefield's day.

The final chapter in the game was even more of shame when the Norton fourth goal saw a massive disagreement between Dippy and the referee. The circumstances are best covered by this quote from the FIFA website: "In the definition of offside position... The definitions of elements of involvement in active play are as follows:

 http://www.fifa.com/mm/document/affederation/federation/81/42/36/lotg_en.pdf - page 106 - diagram of situation from match.

Being a pedant has its disadvantages but this wasn't a "Lost 4-1" performance and pride has to come into it somewhere! Being very aware of the link between referee, assistant referee and the laws of the game it was a pity that an honest mistake should lead to such a disconcerting end to the match, and the day.

TEAM: Becker, Godbold, Punter, Graham, Kay, Chapman (Whale), Craft, Harvey, Michalski, Ryan, Scrigins - Dale (Not used)

RESULT: Lost 4-1              GOALS: Michalski

COMEDY VALUE: None!!

 Pakefieild Reunited v. Tudor FC(League) (20th December 2008)

"...and we couldn't fit in the changing room!" isn't a quote you'd read for many of Pakefield's games this season but at 1:00pm with fourteen players getting changed it felt as though christmas was arriving on time. Bambi had been on a recruiting drive with Crafty, and Ryan and Andy were welcomed into the fold. Also making a return were Deckhand and Magic Rabbit so the match against Tudor was hoped to be a return to winning ways.

The first ten minutes gave Pakefield the opportunity to take an early lead but although chances were made it was at the wrong end that the goal was scored. A breakout by Tudor saw a shot come in that Punty deflected past Boris at the near post before he had even touched the ball. This has become a plot by the defensive unit to deny Boris his bonus-breaking "clean sheet"! This could have been worse if Boris hadn't then turned a ball smartly round the post. This was missed by the majority of the team who were watching the felling of an oak tree at the time. This was also responsible for hiding Punty when the best offside call of the season was given by Dippy with Punty on the line behind Boris. The response by Pakefield was quick, and a surging run by Crafty saw a long range shot from the centre of the pitch skip under Deckhand and into the bottom right hand corner. For the rest of the half Pakefield were playing the game in the Tudor half but let several quick breaks threaten another goal against the run of play.

This continued into the beginning of the second half but again it was Tudor who regained the lead when a cross-shot left Boris stranded after a momentary lapse by Pakefield's "central unit". Then came the turning moment of the match. Another breakout by Tudor saw them shoot from just on the edge of the area to Boris's right, but from behind a group of players. Boris did well to parry it away and a counter attack quickly followed. Bambi did well to release Ryan, who had come on to replace an injured Punty, and his surging run and pin point cross was met by Bambi and headed across to the left post. Here a resurgent Deckhand powered in the header for a fine equaliser. With fifteen minutes left it then became an exciting game as both teams pushed on for the win. Energizer, who had another fine game though this time in the midfield, was linking well with Jan and Andy (who replaced New Town) going down the left flank to give Pakefield a potent threat. Moorhen was coming into the game strongly and saw several efforts well saved by the Tudor keeper, who had an excellent game even when injured. Moorhen was finally rewarded with a fine strike leading to Pakefield's third goal and the lead for the first time in the match. Then the depleted defensive unit of Jan, Catelogue and Crafty showed their mettle with a series of interceptions, tackles and blocks to deprive Tudor the equalizer. This was rounded off by Boris pushing a driven shot wide of the left post with three minutes left; Energizer was obviously a bit miffed that at full stretch Boris hadn't held on to the ball.

It was a good game even if Pakefield weren't at their very best and played very loosely for much of the match. It also was good to finish a game after the events of the last few weeks. A game has been re-arranged for next Saturday against Norton FC Reserves with an early kick off. The match between Lowestoft and Kirkley offers the opportunity for a "club social"... have a good christmas everybody!!

TEAM: Becker, Kay, Punter (Andy), Craft, Chapman, Harvey, Harlow (Ryan), Godbold, Scrigins, Michalski, Coote

RESULT: Won 3-2              GOALS: Craft, Scrigins, Coote

COMEDY VALUE: Boris and Punty defensive SNAFU's, "Offside!!",Changing room before the match (why change what works?!?)

Pakefieild Reunited v. Hopton White Hart (League) (13th December 2008)

This could easily have been an entertaining report! The material was there... who called off? Who was late? Who was...?!? However, Moorhen's strike accounted for nothing, the flowing move that led to Bambi's "goal" was worth diddly... Dippy was fortunate that his attempt to cancel out Catelogue's "Best Own Goal" was ruled null and void... Why? For £22 the game against Hopton White Hart started on time in appalling conditions, and they just got worse! So at half time sense prevailed and for safety's sake the game was abandoned: "Bothered? I ain't bothered!" Ice rinks remind us of winter and the approaching festive season. An early finish was an early start... see you ALL next week?!?

PS: The clue is in the all...

Pakefieild Reunited v. Ole Frank (Cup) (6th December 2008)

You turn up, there were thirteen players, then there are nine... phone calls are made, punctures owned up to and people grabbed out of their sick beds to do mercy runs to pick up Punty and Tracey... "Chippy" gets lost..."I'll be VERY late!" and Dippy needs a screw or two... all going well then as Pakefield got ready for their cup game against Ole Frank!!! It's not the organisation it's something organic with a life of its own and it makes for an interesting start to any game; the warm up was shorter than for the last match against Ole Frank.

First half? Cagey; some excellent defence and a compact and controlled shape from Pakefield's "Early Doors 10" saw few chances at either end. Boris had a flap or two, dived about and didn't touch the ball, and generally did nothing, but since Desperate was playing on autopilot at right back-cum-keeper there was no problem even though the ball had come towards the Pakefield goal on several occasions. The only Ole Frank goal in the first half came midway through when a defensive lapse (a theme that was to develop to comical proportions!!) which saw a well taken, but distinctly offside, goal; no linesman? No problems!!

The second half saw a continuation of the tail end of the first half when Bambi and Moorhen had combined well for a very close attempt on the Ole Frank goal. A period of twenty minutes saw Pakefield, now playing with a "full" team that had been preparing for Christmas at numerous office parties, have numerous attempts that led to some fine saves from a dynamic Ole Frank keeper, close shaves with most ofthe Ole Frank woodwork and Pakefield generally playing very well. Then the "Comedy Half Hour" saw all five members of the Pakefield defence make mistake after mistake; every time a goal was added to the Ole Frank tally. Two missed clearances led to a well struck, top left hand corner piledriver and a sharply taken one-on-one but the fourth goal was the pick of the bunch! Catelogue had stated after the third that "I'll not make that kind of cock up!" Cue the cross from the right and a thundering volley past an advancing Boris into the roof of the net... and so it continued! Boris and Punty collided at the edge of the area as Boris cleared the lines, but the collision left him hobbling painfully. Desperate was there to go in goal yet with the reserves used up (in more ways than one?!?) Boris stayed on. Maybe not a good choice as goals five and six were certainly down to his inability to move more than two yards without falling over!

There were some laughs during the game, certainly it's one to say is best put aside, yet it wasn't the finest hour for Pakefield Reunited. Hopefully the heart of the midfield will return soon, Blubber, Bambi and New Town can be better used down the flanks and things will return to normal at the back but Boris's early departure to A&E sums it up; an accident prone performance saw Pakefield out of the cup!! 

TEAM: Becker, Kay, Punter, Graham, Harvey, Harlow, Whale, Michalski, Chapman(Dale), Pattinson, Coote

RESULT: Lost 6-0              GOALS:

COMEDY VALUE: Boris and Punty, Defensive SNAFU's, Changing room before the match and National Curriculum maths challenge!

GAME CANCELLED DUE TO QUAGMIRE

Due to Boris having a propensity to use technology in an haphazardous way he was the only one to be at Corton for the 1:15pm meet. It did allow him to verify that the two pitches were unplayable and that the game was right to be called off!! He didn't doubt it but just hadn't heard...

Pakefieild Reunited v. Oulton Broad and Notley's (League) (15th November 2008)

So Desperate agreed to do another short reprieve in goal as Boris had been "told" he wasn't playing with stitches in his arm; Boris's face was longer than the Chunnel and it was a sight to see him trundling up and down the touchline chundering to himself and thinking dark thoughts. Pakefield also had thirteen other names on the team sheet so again it was all change yet again... it can't be boring for Dippy and Crafty late on a Saturday morning wondering who will turn up; Dippy had obviously taken a distance learning course with Sir Ferggie and had the "official" team organiser out. Names and numbers were being exchange and a list generated for next week's availability. Would this forethought and planning make it onto the pitch?

Well early indications were that although the numbers were there it was the variety that determined how Pakefield would play; "knit one, pearl one, drop one"! Pakefield were gifted an early goal when a sharp break by Bambi led to an innocuous shot slipping past the Oulton keeper at the near post. Then, with no real threat of an equaliser, the game started to amble along with few decent passages of play. The highlight mid-way through the half was a well worked attack through Bambi on the right leading to a low cross that was turned in sharply by Deckhand. Then Pakefield contrived to let Oulton feel they could get something out of the match. A weak foul infront of goal led to a free kick from which Desperate had to make a fine full length save to his left. Then a missed pass, weak challenge and poor marking saw Oulton get a well taken goal. However from the kick off Crafty worked well with Deckhand to contrive the space to put in a chip down the left for New Town to run onto. His first touch and strong left footed shot flew straight into the top left hand corner of the net for a very sweet goal. The interplay between Beagle and Punty had reached its nadir but soon recovered to be its normal efficient engine for the counter thrust; Punty was seen to make several key passes with his left foot. Luckily this didn't deter Tracey and Duran Duran from forraging forward in support of the attack; it just seemed to lack any really sense of urgency or concern.

Dippy's half time "talk" obviously meant something to the defensive unit who came out in the second half looking more positive. Allied to New Town and Bambi offering more through the flanks, and Moorhen having another good game up front with Deckhand again causing problems, chances came thick and fast. However, nothing was converted even though posts were hit, shots skipped wide and the keeper made numerable stops with varying parts of his anatomy.The game did brighten up when Moorhen collected a ball thirty yards out from Oulton's goal, opened himself out, and rifled a shot into the top left hand corner of the net. Even though Oulton made a real effort to get back into the game it took another slip by the Pakefield defence to let them get anything with another goal following three centre halfs being found within ten feet of each other, and a left flank being left free for early christmas shopping! So while not a vintage performance the win was secured by Pakefield after the disappointment of the previous week.

Yet the highlight of the day for those on the touchline had been the sounds coming from the ajoining pitch where LITC and Ole Frank were playing. The challenges were allowing the shin gaurds to be well tested and the goal celebrations by Ole Frank towards the end of the game warranted the UEFA Champions League! This was only the warm up... as Pakefield entered the Pavillion these two teams prevailed to make "Knock Down/Slap Down" a new option for Saturday entertainment in Lowestoft. Like most wrestling it was all hot air and bluster but anybody with an Portugeuse-to-English dictionary would have been able to tick off some choice phrases! Maybe not the right way for a local league football game to come to a conclusion, but fair play to Ole Frank for not rising to the provocation that appeared on offer.

Next week will see Pakefield on their travels to the further delights of Dip Farm to face Waveney Gunners. This will be another meeting that offers the chance to rejoin a rivalry that has seen some good games over the last few years. Here's hoping the Pakefield "Band of Brothers" haven't been depleted by anymore harsh decisions to "rest" players...

TEAM: Harvey, Chapman (Pattinson), Punter, Graham, Taylor, Harlow, Harvey, Scrigins (Heath), Craft, Michalski, Coote ...Dale and Becker

RESULT: Won 4-2              GOALS: Michalski, Scrigins, Harlow, Coote

COMEDY VALUE: Boris in a sulk, Punty and the Samaritans, LIFC v. Ole Frank

Pakefieild Reunited v. Ole Frank (League) (8th November 2008)

""White Rabbits, White Rabbits, White Rabbits!" There! Things were bound to change for Pakefield Reunited as they entered the month of November..." ...and just as a week is a long time in international politics then so it is in the life of Pakefield Reunited. Into a strange changing room at Normo and what greeted our intrepid explorers of course football was Beagle shaking his head. "I'm manager and captain this week...we've got a bare eleven and Dippy is delayed in Norwich..." Sameo at Normo?!? Five late call offs through injury, work demands and failure to top up the oil in a car had left the eight other players in the changing room wondering if Beagle should be working in a school; nine doesn't equal eleven? "Desperate and Catelogue should be coming" as Beagle started his third teamsheet but two phone calls later and he started the fourth; the message was clear and top-of-the-table clash it might have been but Pakefield would take the field with nine players...Crafty would appear to growl at Boris after ten minutes of the game but that is later in the tale.

Ole Frank had been changed, running their warm up routines and looking as professional as John Sergeant on SCD for well over half an hour when Pakefield finally took the field, had their boots checked and prepared to start the game; no need to expend unnecessary energy after all. The team talk was a peach as Beagle smiled shook his head and said we should enjoy ourselves! So within five minutes Ole Frank had split the defence and scored a well taken goal, and we were all smiling... mainly at Beagle's brother who managed to fall flat on his back while running the line in wellies! Then Crafty came rolling down the hill, crocked and unable to do more than hunch his shoulders due to a very sore neck. He took the field, a smart counter attack by Pakefield led to a corner, Crafty crossed it in and Moorhen stooped for the header that flew across the goal and into the far corner; don't think the Ole Frank manager was smiling and the first echo of a refrain that was to be heard monotonously throughout the game was uttered, "We're better than this Ole Frank". Yet for the rest of the first half Pakefield played well with the wind and dealt with the attacks Ole Frank did mount as regularly as a November Tup. It wasn't always pretty but there were still glimpses of the football Pakefield had played the previous week. Bambi was playing a far more defensive role, for which he should be thanked whole heartedly, and Moorhen still gave Pakefield a solid presence up front. However, shortly after the Pakefield goal Crafty was now seen to be shuffling just as much as he was hunching his shoulders for every header. It transpired that the sole of his boot had parted company; the turning point of the game had come even if it did take another forty minutes to show why...

There was another startling event in the first half. About thirty minutes into the game Punty collected a ball in the left hand corner and beat an Ole Frank player by the sideline. He then started to sprint with the ball up the left flank. Two more players were beaten with deft touches an now Punty was driving into the Ole Frank half. It started to look as if he wanted to eclipse Bambi's "goal from the end of the world" (EDITOR: Rugby reference for the heathens who don't follow a real man's sport). However, even as he came towards the Ole Frank box it was obvious that things weren't going exactly to plan. Every player passed, every slieght of body and sprint onwards kept taking Punty onto his left foot... try as he might he couldn't cut inside and unleash the shot the run deserved. Yet even now he managed to beat two more players in the corner, showing excellent strength, to get a cross in that led to  a shot going just wide. A fantastic try by Punty derserves this full and comprehensive write up. Having been unstinting in our praise we will now take the "right royal" out of him for the twenty minutes it took him to make it back to centre half...

Back to Crafty; as the whistle went for the end of the half he was seen to shuffle away up the hill and his car took off in a squeal of smoking tires and blaring horns... the curse of the split boot was to fall on Pakefield. As the second half started, and back down to nine men, for the second time Pakefield conceded a goal. Now playing against the wind it might have heralded a goal rush but instead as Crafty returned for "Take Two" it was Pakefield who again contrived to play the better football and almost grabbed an equaliser through close shots from Moorhen and Bambi. Yet the energy levels did drop, and more and more chances fell to Ole Frank. Duracell and Magic Rabbit were gallant in midfield but started to be bypassed as space appeared for Ole Frank. One cross was flicked off the head of an attacker by Boris, other shots were securely held and another effort was pushed wide at full stretch, so the third goal wasn't really a surprise as the half drew towards its end. Yet even as these events unfurled there were moments of sheer good humour from the Pakefield players. "Jan 'Tracy' Molby" was warming up to watch the Liverpool versus West Brom game with another startling performance; weebles were wobbling as the defensive unit went into further shock at a proliferation of calling by Boris. Then Boris was felled by the smallest player on the pitch using his knee to try and dislocate his hip but the referee had the sense to allow play to continue. Having warned the players not to swear the referee might also have taken umbrage at Boris' expleted deletive as he kicked the ground and presented the ball to the Ole Frank striker with a stunning miskick. Yet the referee again had the presence to avoid making the decision and play continued; he appeared to be the master of tactically ignoring the akward challenge and breach of law to let the game move on, as he showed throughout the match.

So "The Run" came to an end but there was no sense of dismay from the Pakefield players as they left Normanston for the Dutchman's and the Liverpool game. It was disappointing to loose but with nine/ten players it was a task that was just too difficult and yet there was so much to smile about. "Tour Rules" have been invoked for what was discussed but there was an occurence that was the comedy moment of the day... enough said!! What will next week bring? It's bound to be different yet again!

Pakefieild Reunited v. Sole Bay Reserves (Cup) (1st November 2008)

"White Rabbits, White Rabbits, White Rabbits!" There! Things were bound to change for Pakefield Reunited as they entered the month of November; September had been the month of "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you!", October had been a bit more "rockin'" with "I'm going through changes...", so what will November hold? Well it started with a multi-media version of "She's a perfect 10!" Maybe that's a bit middle-of-the-road for some people, but it suits what happened in Pakefield's cup game against Sole Bay Reserves on Saturday. However, it would be remiss to change for changes sake so although Dippy was smiling and talking about "subs"  (yes, that was a plural and caused some confusion in the ranks...) it was still a changed team that took the field; Boris returned in goal, Duracell had returned for another weekend of home cooking and New Town was fit...also Crafty used the feable excuse of moving house to not even get changed this week; poor excuse, but the fine will be commuted to the females of the household!

Since Sole Bay are playing in Division 1 it was also expected that this would be a good test for Pakefield considering their recent form, and in the early part of the game it might also have been that the game would be high scoring and a close contest. The exchanges in the first ten minutes saw a well taken goal by Bambi after good interplay between the midfield, involving Magic and Furrow, Duracell and Moorhen. It then saw a quick equaliser for Sole Bay as "Route 1" saw a defensive lapse by Punty give the Sole Bay forward a one-on-one with Boris, which he finished well, it was also to be the closest Sole Bay really came to the Pakefield goal for the rest of the game. Although playing against the wind Pakefield used the support play of Duracell and Duran Duran from full back to launch a series of good moves through midfield, and the linking up of Moorhen and Bambi up front to threaten the Sole Bay goal. One such move involving many of the Pakefield team (Okay, I'll mention Punty had an "assist" but he'll pay for this later in the season) led to a lovely cross into Deckhand for a sweetly taken headed goal. Sole Bay's threat continued to be the long ball with the wind and corners/free kicks yet, apart from Boris punching one cross away from the Sole Bay centre half at a corner, the defensive unit was playing well. 

The second half was all Pakefield; it saw some of their best football since reforming three seasons ago. The interchange between all key areas from the backs, into midfield and then through Moorhen up front saw chances being created. Cathy had several good shots that required good saves from the Sole Bay keeper, New Town and Moorhen would hit the post and "Pinball Wizard" was the tune of the day for the Sole Bay defence as they scrambled away several other close calls. However, the game was decided by perhaps the best individual goal scored by Pakefield Reunited. Bambi had been moved from the left to allow New Town to replace Cathy after sixty-five minutes. He colected a ball shortly after this wide on the right and inside the Pakefield half and set of on a diagonal run past one player, then another. Never seeming to be moving fast Bambi still left these players flat-footed but the next player was beaten by a sublime flick-and-spin and then a shimmy and feint past two more players brought him into the box where a lovely shot found the net. It was only right that near the end of the game another well taken shot by Bambi gave him the hat-trick. It was a good performance by the team played in a good spirit by both teams.

That might well be the end of this report but it would be remiss not to mention two more events in the game. Boris has kept most people amused, most, Dippy and Crafty seem to have found more grey hairs as the season has progressed, by his inability to call for anything at anytime during the game. So Beagle was seen to be writhing on the ground in extreme pain with laughing too hard when the loudest shout of the season was heard from Boris to attract the referee's attention. Not for a foul or injury but for a substitution, not by Pakefield but by Sole Bay! Yet having found his voice Boris then caused even greater consternation by calling loudly and punching a ball clear from a corner - old dogs and new tricks?!? The second event was the change in Duran Duran's knickname after his sterling performance at right back. Since he still hankered for the adenaline rush of attacking the goal, and did find himself in position to take a couple of "shots" at goal, by popular demand he is now christened "Prolific". Why? Well why does he shoot...

Pakefieild Reunited v. Halesworth Reserves (Cup) (25th October 2008)

It was a sad start to the day as the rain lashed down, the kids were going stir crazy and the mother-in-law stirred… the author’s routine of listening to the “News Quiz” driving to the game had been supplanted by a trip to "Jockland". However, technology was called into service and a satellite link was set up on the iPhone for instant feedback on how the day unfolded. So the sight of “Dippy“and “Crafty” standing around wondering who was going to turn up and play where was yet again startling. So many things had changed – again; the team – again; the formation – again; the linesman – again (But more of that later Trevor) and also this week Anglian Ambulance Service had stood down the assigned ambulance as Boris wasn’t playing. Halesworth Reserves were made welcome at Normanston, at least it gave Pakefield time to appear organised…

“Desperate” was moved from right back into his natural habitat in goal and the rest took up the formation that was to become known as the “Terracotta Army”. The first text saw comments about “Dippy” owing more money on his subs than would be covered by his weight in burnt clay gambling tokens (EDITOR: Please check the Wiki entry on the “Terracotta Army” and their static formation, where 2,763kg of clay gambling tokens were found; reference has been included as there was too much time to research obtuse facts to include in this report). The formation also saw “Rabbit” complaining, again, that he couldn’t get out of his burrow as the Dale had been landscaped and enlarged and he couldn’t move freely. No matter, the early exchanges saw Pakefield playing well and the first key point in the game came after twenty minutes. "Bambi" collected a ball on the edge of the area, beat his man and shot. While the image was grainy on the link it did appear that the Halesworth keeper, knowing he had to fill the “Keeper Comedy Moment” in Boris’s absence, dived over the ball. Yet technology was to come to Pakefield’s assistance in regaining the comedy moment for the match. Crafty was tripped up by the radio controlled mole being used by Boris via satellite. This led to the appearance of “Smash Hits” Taylor to improve the back line. It also saw Trevor take over on the line and sum up his role in a very succinct and Anglo-Saxon way; his appearance warranted a big “thank you”. The goal had been scored with the wind but how would the second half unfurl?

Well, apart from “Catalogue” needing oxygen as he started his “Forget America” diet, the second half saw a re-run of the first with Pakefield creating chances through the selfless work of “Moorhen” up front. His display has been analysed by the computer and he again comes up as a prime candidate for “MoM” (EDITOR: may suit his personality but does seem a bit improbable from the science perspective). Then Halesworth were heard to pass comment that they had an encounter with the “Great Wall of China” but it was pointed out by “Beagle” (Helped through the use of an earpiece and uplink to “Tillsy”) that this was a defensive construction and couldn’t have been found in an offensive position. This contorted analogy was to be the point of much debate after the game. However, for Pakefield the key moment of the half was a superb save by “Desperate” to his left, and a quick recover to force the follow up shot wide. Unfortunately the video of this has been lost and won’t be available to inform selection next week. Halesworth contributed much to a good tempered game that was well refereed and the result continues a good run for Pakefield.

TEAM: Harvey, Craft (Taylor), Punter, Graham, Kay, Heath, Harvey, Dale, Michalski, Banks, Coote.

RESULT: Won 1-0              GOALS: Michalski

COMEDY VALUE: “Mobile” Chinese Takeaway, “Mole in the Hole” who got the sole…

Pakefield Reunited v. Bungay “A” (Report for Saturday 18th October)

So we’re seven weeks into the season and you’d expect some trends to start appearing and as Pakefield came together (having secured a changing room this week through the simple measure of arriving on time – well “Bambi” and “Boris” did!) it was evident that one was very well established much to "Crafty's" perturbance. “Crafty” was standing around and counting to himself “16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10...” and it wasn’t for the sit ups as the team warmed up! Late call offs were again proving common but this week was different. “Crafty” suddenly went into reverse “10, 11, 12, 13!”; a linesman and two subs for the first time this year! Okay, “Desperate” and “Crafty” were getting changed as the game was taking place but progress is progress to get the clichés flowing

Bungay started well and soon established a game pattern that relied on a central backbone that rivalled the Rockies; tall and hard but with a touch of class. Their threat throughout the game was to come from set pieces and attacking the crossed ball with their height advantage. This led to several attacks having to be broken up by Boris and the head of “Punty”, which was doing wonders for his hangover. Pakefield also set their stall out to play through the flanks and control the central midfield with the busy trio of “Deckhand”, “Hopping” and “Cathy” (This one needs explaining: Heath – Heathcliffe – “Cathy Come Home”) whose debut produced a good attacking performance and more interesting contribution in defence. The first thirty minutes saw several good chances fall to Pakefield and a sharp save to his left by Boris of a good header by Bungay. Then a mistake in central defence allowed a break by Bungay that saw a well taken goal give them the lead. The response by Pakefield saw them draw level by half time. However, according to “Crafty” it also saw the most unlikely pass of the year; a ball was kicked long and Boris collected it wide to the right and outside his area. Having both controlled it AND looked up he delivered a fifty yard inch perfect pass (AKA a toe punt) against the very strong wind to “Bambi”. His drive down the flank and cross was met by “Deckhand” for another excellent goal from good approach play.

Pakefield continued this form into the second half and although it took thirty minutes to score the second and third goals there were few concerns at the back. “Punty” had been taken off at half-time and this led to a reshuffle. “Desperate” came on at right back for his first game of the season and this was certainly a significant moment for the Pakefield veterans. It was capped by an excellent performance and certainly brought a smile to the team. It sums up much of what the team stands for and was the highlight of the day. However, one comment from “Desperate” also summed up another trend for the year; “Boris you can take the pain!” Yes two more minor tremors were felt in the Lowestoft area. “Crafty” also added to the amusement when he came on to replace “New Town”. Having been wearing his shades on the sidelines his first encounter with the ball was looking into the sun; “Twinkle Toes and Alistair” were no more amusing than his attempts to control, if not find, the ball! His redemption was the distribution that led to “Bambi” setting up “Deckhands” second excellent goal, a scorching shot that went just over the bar and a hand in “Moorhens” well taken goal for Pakefield’s third just ten minutes before the end. A good win for a team that again showed many changes from the previous week. "Rafa's" rotation policy is paying off…

The “Committee Meeting” in the Dutchmans also saw a few points of interest. “Punty” being out in public with elasticised plimsolls and “Crafty” and “Beagle” being crap at pool; enough said but for those that can be there next week after the cup tie against Halesworth the rematch will be fun to watch.

TEAM: Becker, Godbold, Tills, Punter (Harvey), Graham, Harlow (Craft), Scrigins, Harvey, Heath, Michalski, Coote

RESULT: Won 3-1             

GOALS: Scrigins (2), Coote

COMEDY VALUE: If you need to ask...?! Boris did his usual in the game and then commented on Punty’s fashion sense

Pakefield v. Lowestoft Internationl (Report for Saturday 11th October

Standing around at Normanston Park on Saturday watching the end of the Hearts v. Caxton game Pakefield’s “Band of Brothers” discussed the events of that morning as they prepared to play Lowestoft International. Again the side showed changes from a fortnight ago with “Dippy” Dale and “Bambi” Michalski returning. These additions were to prove important, if for very different reasons. However, with three very late “call offs” it looked ominous as a bare eleven started to get changed; luckily they had found room in a changing room by then! Tactical nouse from the “Brains Trust” of “Rafa” Craft and “Dippy” Dale again saw Pakefield setting up for a game with a plan. Now if only they could remember who was asked to do what and how effective it had been against Tudor FC...

The first few minutes saw International passing the ball quickly and a few comments from “Hopping” Harvey that “it wasn’t working”; evidence at least that somebody had understood the pre-match brief. This period also saw the pattern of the match laid out: International using quick passing, close interplay and fine use of angles of running, while Pakefield were more direct using the flanks with “New Town” Harlow and “Bambi” Michalski, and good holding up of the ball up front by “Moorhen” Coote for the midfield to run onto. This was seen to happen once or twice in the game but more of that later. International were the first to prosper with a fine move leaving “Boris” Becker exposed (not a pleasant sight – Editor) to a sharp, close range shot. There were several more chances for International to extend their lead but these floundered on the “Twin Towers” Of “Beagle” Graham and “Rafa” Craft who were well aided on the flanks by “Tracey” Chapman and “Lethe” Ball. Then Pakefield equalised through “Bambi” Michalski after another example of good direct approach work and fine finishing. Shortly afterwards a collision between an International player, “Hopping” Harvey and “Boris” Becker left the International player carrying an injury that would lead to him being taken to hospital later in the second half under “Blues and Two”. Then “Moorhen” Coote scored and Pakefield took the lead into half-time.

The second half saw twenty five minutes of manic activity just on the edge of the Pakefield area as International looked to equalise, and several more good attempts from Pakefield. International finally got another sight of goal and equalised. They also seemed to sense that they had a chance to win the game and continued to press forward. The highlight of the game was now upon Pakefield as “Cash” Tills saw “Dippy” Dale calling to be released on a long run towards goal. A perfect pass saw “Dippy” Dale turn and sprint, control the ball and power a fine shot towards goal. At least that was the version seen in 1989 according to archive reports. The mischievous grin on “Cash” Tills face as he turned back towards goal to defend the counter attack was evidence enough of what he actually knew would happen. However, this style of approach play did augur well for Pakefield who upped their work rate in the last fifteen minutes. A fine cross-field ball and powerful shot saw “New Town” Harlow score an excellent goal. It also saw “Bambi” Michalski score again and Pakefield gain a clear two goal advantage; “Bambi” had proven his worth.

The England game was watched in the Dutchman’s and saw some fine interplay between “Punty” Punt and several team mates, and “Dippy” Dale having to get his wallet out if only to put away his winnings from the two games of skill he won. It also saw a guest appearance from Nathan Stone. His look of amazement at hearing where “Boris” Becker played and his age was priceless. The night continued out and about in Oulton Broad with the small “Band of Brothers” linking up with “Micky” Broxup and “Cheesy” Lees. Any inaccuracies in this report are purely coincidental to the amount of beer consumed!

TEAM: Becker, Ball Craft, Graham, Chapman, Harlow, Tills, Dale, Harvey, Michalski, Coote - with mention for "K", Dec and Danny

RESULT: Won 4-2               

GOALS: Michalski (2), Harlow, Coote

COMEDY VALUE: Boris’ calling – again!! Football card and final score, Crafty and red wine, Nathan Stone and “partners”

Pakefield Re-United v. Tudor FC (Report for 4th October 2008).  

The match against Tudor FC on Saturday started in a very unusual way for Pakefield Reunited in a state of disorganisation; Harvey was delayed by having to make the return trip to Ellingham from two weeks ago to pick up his boots! With “Bambi” Michalski out for the next two months after twisting his knee, “Dippy” Dale away paintballing and “Skrimshaw” Scriggins also unavailable changes had to be made to the starting line up. “Tillsy” Tills came in for a start, picking up the moldy captains armband that had been left abandoned over the summer, and “Blue” Balls finally coming in from the sidelines to start as centre half. The fact that Tudor FC were also laughing at the state of disarray in the changing rooms seemed to sum up the day’s potential for a slip up…

However, “Crafty” Craft, living up to his name, showed a remarkable turn of phrase in the pre-match talk and set out what needed to be done. Using a game plan is something that always seems to flummox Pakefield but this week was to be different as it appeared everybody was actually listening. Throughout the first half a disciplined performance saw some excellent football being played. Pakefield allowed Tudor to press forward and tackled well, even if “Tillsy” Tills did start suffering from oxygen deprivation as he closed on the half way line once or twice, with particularly strong performances from all the back four to recover the ball. They then passed out through the active midfield of “Piglet” Graham and “Magic Rabbit” Harvey (A well deserved promotion after pulling his boots out of the hat) using “New Town” Harlow and “Blubber” Whale as excellent outlets. This was all very well but it relied on “Baldy” Coote to play a strong game in the centre up front. This he did with a match winning performance; two excellent finishes from good team approach play and many other strong challenges and good distribution belied his claims of a pulled “walking stick”.

Yet this two goal lead was established in the first half with a strong following wind Therefore, the second half was sure to provide a totally different proposition (Fill in the appropriate cliché if feeling deprived of a real match report). The half time team talk was again an opportunity for “Crafty” Craft to eruditely sum up the commitment of the whole team. Pakefield continued to be well organised but the long ball provided Tudor FC with several good chances. The defence held up well until a misjudged challenge at worst led to the award of a penalty. “Boris” Becker’s efforts to save the penalty again led to calls to the National Geological Society to confirm that an earthquake centred on Lowestoft was felt at about 3:42pm on Saturday 4th October. That Pakefield were shocked to see the success of his efforts may have led to them being flat footed and the rebound was scuffed in! However, the continued defensive effort, and good use of the out ball meant Pakefield ended the game with another good win on the road.

The debrief at the Ducthmans was got off to a good start as “Boris” Becker forgot the bridge was closed in his drug addled state, “Crafty” Craft was kept indoors for being a naughty boy and the first social of the year was finally organised. Next week, after a game against Lowestoft International at Normanston, will see an “Evening with the Lads” kick off at 4:30pm(ish) with the England game and food at the Dutchmans. Maybe “Micky” Broxup will stay around long enough to get the full picture of what is happening this year – all welcome

TEAM: Becker, Tills, Punter, Ball (Taylor), Chapman, Whale, Harvey, Craft, Graham, Harlow, Coote

RESULT: Won 2-1             

GOALS: Coote (2)

COMEDY VALUE: Changing Rooms, Referee’s “Hurry Up” Routine, Crafty being kept indoors

Pakefield Re-United v. Ellingham (Report for 20th September 2008).

Pakefield Reunited travelled to the quiet backwaters of the Waveney Valley to face Ellingham. The recent weather had obviously been good for those involved in silage production as the pitch resembled the waving grasslands of the Pampas. Grave concerns were felt for the safety of Harvey “The Rabbit” and “Duracell”  Godbold getting lost after falling into the line markings. However, the glorious sunshine and lack of breeze meant worries over dehydration should also have been raised.

Changes to the team saw the return of “Punty” Punt and “Deckhand” Scriggins and the changing room banter centred on whether the shot-to-miss ratio could be as high as the previous week. Early signs were that the answer would be no; shots only come when a team can keep the ball!  Passes along the ground stopped short while those taking a more aerial route were going astray. Pakefield fell behind to a poorly defended cross leading to a well taken headed goal. This lead to Pakefield finally engaging with the task in hand and good approach work led to a well taken goal from “Deckhand” Scriggins. This was closely followed by the first of two rare events. Firstly a goal ruled out for offside after a fifteen minute conference call with the FA on what construes passive and active involvement. Secondly “Bambi” Michalski missing a penalty or rather by allowing the goalkeeper to fall onto a shot so weak that comments about “long grass” featured in the post-match discussions. “Bambi” Michalski however continued to terrorise the back four of Ellingham and along with driving runs from “Tracey” Chapman, Harvey “The Rabbit” and “Tin Head” Whale. It all lead to a purple patch and two further goals, one  more for “Deckhand” Scriggins  which followed on from a well taken goal for “Bambi” Michalski.

The half-time talk was full of positive comments but one phrase stood out “the next goal was very important”. Pakefield seemed to have gone to sleep and couldn’t get started during the first twenty minutes of the second half. Ellingham, using “Route One” started to mount a serious challenge which led to the possible “champagne moment” in the match. “Leaping like a salmon” and “amazing reflexes and agility” are not normally used to describe “Boris” Becker but all the flash photographers were in action as a cross and powerful header saw him tip over the goal bound ball. This allowed Pakefield to re-establish some control on the game. During the next ten minutes it saw “Bambi” Michalski turning players inside out better than a washer woman doing the pillow cases before finally scoring that important next goal with a strong turn and curling shot. The last ten minutes saw the “empty” buzzer sound on Pakefield’s energy levels and another re-run of “Pinball Wizard” between “Her Suit” Craft, “Boris” Becker and “Punty”Punt almost led to Ellingham’s second goal. This continued with a series of corners, crosses and shots slowly lengthening the list of body parts used by “Punty” Punt to block the ball, and a comedy “pass back” and free kick. “PG” Graham did shepherd a stunning drive by Ellingham into the bottom corner for their second goal but had the final laugh as Pakefield notched up their first league win.

Thanks to everybody for turning out and see you all next week for the “Red Herring” match?

TEAM: Becker, Craft, Punter, Graham, Godbold, Whale (Dale), Harvey, Taylor (Coote), Chapman, Scriggins, Michalski

RESULT: Won 4-2         

GOALS: Michalski(2), Scriggins (2)

COMEDY VALUE: Ellingham Free Kick Routine, “Punty” and “Boris” using the same manual on left foot clearances

Pakefield Re-United v. Corton “A” (Report for 13th September 2008).

Pakefield enjoyed the luxury surroundings of Normanston Park in their first “home game” and were also at ease with the conclusion of the “North West” Derby which featured in the pre-match preparations as the departure of Sutcliffe to Corton meant Liverpool were much favored. It was good to see the attacking flair shown in this match transferred to the team throughout the game with Corton “A”. Changes had been made and the addition of Godbold at left back was to be a key element in this intent to entertain. Pakefield have never before had the luxury of “Duracell” Godbold shocking Chapman into his best game of the last few seasons and their link up with “Bambi” Michalski was a joy to watch, mostly! While the final score showed the game to be even it was the tale of the woodwork count that perhaps best showed the different approaches of the two teams; Pakefield were ahead 5 – 1 with Michalski (2), Craft, “Tin Head” Whale and “Andy” Taylor all showing exceptional skill in this difficult challenge. This allowed the tension in the game to build up as Corton were able to take the lead twice.

Corton’s first goal owed much to “Boris” Becker’s, “PG” Grahams and Banks’ familiarity with “Pin Ball Wizard” in front of goal; “tilt” was very much in evidence. Pakefield equalized late into the first half through a well taken goal by Craft who finally controlled and kicked a ball with something approaching his usual aplomb. Leading up to this “Andy” Taylor continued to entertain with three spectacular attempts to supplant “Boris” Becker at the top of Pakefield’s “Miss of the Century” list. This was in its own way to become the main focus for Pakefield as “Tin Head” Whale joined in the festivities with a rasping shot, or three, that went wide of the mark… along with Michalski, Chapman, Banks, Craft et al. This continued into the second half where more fine approach work involving Harvey “The Rabbit” saw Pakefield create a plethora of chances, and further misses. Corton, relying on a more forceful approach, which saw a re-run of the Olympic Judo officiating debacle involving “Duracell” Godbold not losing to a blatant ippon, again showed the value of luck with a second goal against the run of play. This was late into the second half and following on from all the attempts on goal created a feeling amongst Pakefield that this wasn’t going to be their day. However, with nearly the last kick of the game “Bambi” Michalski scored with the hardest of his many chances with a well placed curling shot wide of the Corton keeper (who had also been involved in several fine saves throughout the game to deny Pakefield).

After the game it was concluded in the debrief at the “Dutchmans” that this final combined pre-season match and league game had worked out the rustiness of the summer break. Pakefield are now looking forward to their first officially club sanctioned league encounter next week against Ellingham at the Rectory. Since this venue warrants a dignified dress code “Dog Collars” will be compulsory item of attire and checked before the game. Latecomers technically challenged and they are also advised to come prepared… if you don't check ignorance is no excuse!

TEAM:
Becker, Godbold, Saunders, Graham, Banks, Chapman, Harvey, Craft, Taylor, Whale, Michalski, Mar

RESULT: Drew 2 – 2

GOALS: Craft, Michalski

COMEDY VALUE:

Attempts on goal to scoring ratio; Goalkeeper “collision”; Mint Tea Tree shampoo

Pakefield Reunited v. Crusaders (Saturday 6th September 2008)

Pakefield met at Kessingland having decided that this year it seems best to try and combine as many tasks as possible into the same event. Therefore, pre-season was combined with meeting new squad members and the first league game against old rivals Crusaders. Allied to this their timing continues to have its own comedy value as the warm up coincided with the referee brining the teams together to start the match; two-into-one again. It was therefore no surprise that the first fifteen minutes saw Pakefield have three opportunities to continue pre-match debates about how to fit new faces into their best positions. It was kind of Crusaders to help out in this important task with three different scoring opportunities. With the elements and geography also helping Pakefield focus on this effort to finally have a pre-season training session it was pleasing to see a well taken first goal by “Tin Head” towards the end of the half. This followed on from Boris being given his first opportunity to actually move outside of his six yard box; progress was being made!

Half time saw further examples of Pakefield’s emerging ability to multitask as they got in touch with their feminine side. Half of the team missed the cosy half-time chat as they recovered their balls from the brambles surrounding the pitch. This certainly helped as Pakefield, although conceding a well taken fourth goal, dominated the second half. Dec made several good breaks, “New Town” showed growing confidence playing down the left combining well with Dec and “Tin Head”, and “Punty” lived up to his name with many well timed and effective tackles and clearances. Allied to Dippy’s growing domination in occupying a high central midfield role and a much better overall performance it was pleasing to see the smiles returning to the Pakefield players’ faces. Further goals by Dec and “Tin Head” and a first example of Boris dominating his area all helped in this process. It was also nice to hear the referee describe himself as feeling a “bit ropey”. Another moment when humour was more important that the reason for the discussion.

In the pre-match debrief held at the “Dutchmans” it was this facet that was the main focus. A consensus was reached that the fun and social side could well be the main focus for this year’s campaign. It seems that “shorts and white socks” could well be the dress code for the next game… you have been warned!!! Thanks to everyone who attended and played and while changes will be made to the team for next week at least we are “on the road again”!

TEAM:

Becker, Chapman, Graham, Punter, Harlow, Taylor, Dale, Harvey, Craft, Whale, Scrigins

RESULT: Lost 3 – 4

GOALS: Whale(2), Scrigins

COMEDY VALUE:

Geography Teacher Fashion Show, First 10 minutes, Goalkeeper collision